We are home from our “vacation” in Florida! I had some other content planned for while we were there, but somehow I struggled with posting design content when it feels like the whole world is shutting down due to Coronavirus (COVID-19). There’s no doubt this is a scary time, and it seems like the situation changes hour by hour. In times of uncertainty, it can be hard to keep a grip on our sanity, so I wanted to share some tips and tricks that are helping me fight fear. Because our mentorship role in our family business heavily involves personal development, I’ve gone back and forth over the years about sharing that type of content on this blog… Depending on the response, I’ll see how it goes, but I feel like there’s no better time to share tips for a positive mindset than right now!
We’ve had some scares ourselves with potentially being stuck in Florida (ok, not the worst thing in the world, but the beaches and pools have been shut down, and ten of us stuck in a condo together doesn’t sound ideal), and then traveling back from Florida with coughing and sneezing kids. We knew they didn’t have Coronavirus due to the timing of their symptoms, but it was very disconcerting receiving suspicious and fearful looks as we traveled. Given the state of stress most people are in (understandably), we were afraid we’d be stopped as we got off the flight, or even worse, that someone would panic on the plane and the flight would be diverted and the kids would never want to travel again. It might sound irrational or like I have an overactive imagination, but apparently that happened a couple weeks ago when someone sneezed on a plane.
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It may seem like an impossible task to stay calm right now, but the truth is that you feed what you focus on, and if you focus on your fear, it will grow until it completely takes over. Fear actually weakens your immune system, which is so ironic in this time. It has various other negative effects on the body too, so there are tons of reasons to fight fear. Here are some tips I hope will help you do that.
1. Choose Gratefulness: Stress and thankfulness can’t exist at the same time. Another way to say this is that when we mindfully choose to focus on our blessings, it forces fear from our minds. My kids and I are writing in daily “quarantine journals,” and every day we write down at least two things we’re grateful for. Even though these times are challenging, when we remember to count the blessings we do have (and they’re there if you look for them!), our gratefulness fights off fear.
2. Have a (Loosely Held) Plan: Even when we are out of our normal routine and stuck at home, having a plan for our day can give us a sense of order and control. Granted, those plans may need to change, depending on what happens day by day, but setting a predetermined wake up time, planning activities for the day, meal planning (which I hate, but especially crucial in this time of quarantine) offer a rhythm and normalcy to your day. Even if it is a very different and new normal. Also, planning ahead prevents us from falling down the rabbit hole of news and social media that sucks the energy from us, distracts us from our families and loved ones, and instills an even greater sense of fear.
This daily schedule from Hoffman-Boston Elementary School is just one idea of how to schedule your daily life at home. Obviously adapt to fit your own desires, but this gives you the overall idea.
3. Bring in Outside Influences: When we are at home by ourselves, isolated from our normal social interactions, it creates the perfect breeding ground for fear. We need to allow other uplifting influences to speak into our lives, so read some positive mindset books, listen to podcasts, or even just watch a show that makes you laugh. For me, my faith in God is crucial to my day to day life, so listening to worship music and reading my Bible help refocus my mind on what’s important to me.
4. Take Your Eyes Off Yourself: We’ve all seen what fear can do to a person when they only focus on themselves… Hoarding toilet paper, driving all over the state to purchase every hand sanitizer in sight in the hopes of making a profit, or an unwillingness to engage or even smile at someone while grocery shopping are just a few of the manifestations of this selfishness. I’ve also seen really beautiful examples of people looking for ways to help others during this uncertain time. Friends asked if they could check in on my house while we were in Florida, neighbors have offered to watch extra kids, and other friends are looking for ways to bless the elderly and other special needs families unable to purchase the supplies they need. I guarantee that the people taking their eyes off themselves are in a much better mental state that those who aren’t.
When we look for ways to do good for others, it not only helps them, but it also blesses us. So today, try to find a way to do something nice for someone, whether that’s sending cards and kids’ art to the elderly quarantined in nursing homes, praying for someone you know is struggling, shopping for someone who can’t shop for themselves, or even something as simple as smiling at other shoppers in the grocery store. When you look for ways to brighten others’ days, you brighten your own too!
5. Breathe Deeply: Sometimes you just need to slow down, slow your mind, and take a deep breath. When you breathe deeply, it signals to your mind that it’s time to relax and unwind. You might find these instructions on stress relieving breathing techniques from WebMD helpful. I like to pray as I do this.
6. Communicate and Connect: My family and friends are always important to me, but in times of fear and stress, there isn’t much that eases your mind more than connecting with people who care about you and are in the same boat. So be the person to reach out and let your people know you’re thinking of them. Chances are, they are looking for connection in this time of uncertainty too. Technology has made it so much easier for us to stay in contact, despite our physical distance. Plan a FaceTime or Zoom chat with friends and family, shoot someone a text, or even pick up the phone and call someone you haven’t talked to in a while. And if you aren’t sure who to reach out to, I’d love to hear from you! Let me be one of your people!
7. Turn Off the News: I understand the need to be informed. Trust me, I am a researcher by nature, so I want to know ALL THE THINGS! But having the TV news on 24-7, or constantly scrolling your phone for updates, or even going old school and burying yourself in the newspaper is not healthy. If you inundate yourself with bad news non stop, your brain can’t help but feel overwhelmed, fearful, and possibly depressed. I’m not telling you to stick your head in the sand. Definitely tune in for Trump’s press conferences and other key leaders’ news updates, but then turn it off. The media will still be there when you’re ready to tune in again. And go do one of these other things I’ve listed here to take your mind off the situation.
8. Control What You Can… Especially Your Attitude: The truth is, many of the circumstances we face with Coronavirus are completely out of our control. We can follow instructions, staying inside and keeping ourselves and others safe, but we don’t get to determine how long this will last, the level of severity, and a host of other things. I am very type A and like to be in control, so I understand that this can be especially hard for someone with a similar personality. When I find myself becoming more fearful about our current situation, I think about what the women in Europe faced during WWII. Their husbands went off to war for literally YEARS at a time, and the women were left to fend for themselves at home, usually with dwindling food supplies, Nazi soldiers nearby (sometimes in their homes!), and no way to know if their husbands were still alive. When I think about what they went through, and the bravery and resilience they showed, it inspires me to choose an attitude of mental toughness instead of fear. And to realize that what we are dealing with right now really isn’t SO bad.
Side note: If you want some inspirational reading along those lines and haven’t read Kristin Hannah’s The Nightingale yet, you need to!
9. Use Humor: According to Mayo Clinic, laughter not only releases endorphins, reduces stress, and improves your mood, but it actually increases your immunity! There are so many great memes flying around right now, and while some people believe we shouldn’t make light of the situation, I personally think laughter is one of our best natural medicines!
10: Get Outside: After only a few days cooped up inside, I started to feel like a prisoner in my own house. Anyone else with me? But even though it’s cold in MN, bundling up and getting some fresh air clears the cobwebs away and gives you a fresh outlook to make fighting fear easier. For those of you lucky enough to live in warmer climates, no bundling up required! So go hang out in your backyard for a bit, take a bike ride, or go for a walk around your neighborhood.
11. Move Your Body: Working out has a proven positive effect on your physical state, as well as your mentality. Exercise triggers endorphins, which give you a mood and energy boost similar to morphine that lasts for up to 24 hours. So find ways to work exercise into your new daily routine. I know many of us will miss going to the gym, but if we get creative, there are tons of other ways to incorporate movement into our lives. Go for a walk outside, look up a workout video on YouTube (plenty you can do with your kiddos too!), or do something as simple as a circuit of jumping jacks, push ups, and sit ups.
12. Get Creative: Various scientific studies have demonstrated that creativity is a huge stress reliever, and I’ve definitely known that to be true in my own life. I’ve journaled since I was a child, and in particularly stressful times (high school, anyone?), I carved out time to write daily. Painting, singing, dancing, and playing an instrument are also great outlets. I’m currently throwing myself into the planning of the Spring One Room Challenge by finalizing design details for Arabella’s room. It’s been a great distraction, and the creativity calms me down and eliminates my fear. So channel your inner artist and go create something! If you aren’t creative by nature, pick up a coloring book or print out some coloring sheets and color while listening to soothing music. If you don’t have kids, you’ve probably forgotten how relaxing coloring is!
I hope some of these 12 tips on how to fight fear have helped you, and I’d love to hear of anything else that’s worked for you in the comments below!
